Header Image
12193304_10208420233770398_1013294355502276563_n

Dear World, Please Let It Be

And I think that this – this thing that we have to somehow fix, this thing we have to find the answer for – this is not a single fight of a single man, or woman, or race, or nation. There is no religion or dogma or system of belief or freedom under attack. This is a thing that is bigger than your gun, or your geography, or your rights, whatever you may hold them to be.

11136742_10206766042696655_7511314990954700909_n

Identity, A Love Story

There is this feeling I sometimes feel. It’s so powerful, it feels like reality. Like, not just a feeling that comes and go’s and wanes and grows over months or weeks or sometimes mere hours, it feels like it’s forever, like it’s reality. It is this feeling where I look in the mirror and I […]

me

Today I Felt Beautiful

Today, Standing with my back to the four windowed corner of my dining room, Wearing a simple black dress that my husband loves, and bare feet, My hair in yesterday’s mohawk (that my six year old nephew thinks is cool). Bare faced. Today, In that moment, surveying my dirty house while I hummed a tune, […]

wpid-wp-1427388771238.jpeg

To The Person Newly In Recovery

You are not your enemy. Addiction is your enemy. Your silence does not protect your dignity, it promotes the stigma of your disease. The disease lives in you but it does not define you. You define you.

10980744_10206339036901777_4397983982387277774_n

Breaking In Front of Baby

Yesterday I broke. I knew it was coming. I could feel myself getting rougher around the edges. Edgier, more impulsive, more inclined to sudden fits of rage. I’m weaning off of my mood stabilizing medication in preparation for childbirth in five weeks and the new, breastfeeding safe, medication that will start after that. I’m beginning […]

A Kiss For Jason

I’m Pretty Wonderful, Too

My husband didn’t know about my addiction and alcoholism until we were hip deep into our relationship. He didn’t know how much I truly loathed winter until we were married. He didn’t know I had a mental illness until we had a baby. I didn’t keep things from him, I just didn’t know. We moved […]

10620758_10152713339257603_344759316955167479_n

Mom Doesn’t Play By My Rules

I’ve been trying to write about my mom for a long time. I start and I can’t finish. I just don’t know what to say. It’s just that I don’t understand. Writing is usually a way to help me understand – myself, other people, the world – but it doesn’t matter how I spin it, […]

10403069_10205645660687805_906770894763572040_n

Maybe, just maybe, TV isn’t the actual devil.

Have you noticed that the one thing it’s totally okay for moms to feel guilty (and be made to feel guilty about) is television watching? Every post or blog that even has the word “television” in it also includes some lengthy disclaimer about types of carefully selected shows or carefully monitored time or extreme circumstances that allow for the horror that is your children watching tv.

8b03b624786ca1391f0f1bba08d3d327

Bipolar Sucks

Sometimes I don’t want to spin positive. I don’t want to look at a glass and be mindful that is half full. Being bipolar sucks. Even with acceptance and awareness and proper management, it sucks and it’s always going to suck, at least on some level at some amount. I think it’s the unpredictability that […]

10384204_10204446982841608_1711333967184981726_n

Gentle Parenting With A Mental Illness

I have been diagnosed as rapid cycling bipolar ii. I like to tell people it’s “not the crazy crazy kind of bipolar” but who am I kidding? I am crazy as hell some days. My mental illness results in lots of anxiety, sometimes an undercurrent and sometimes a tidal wave, and depression that ranges from […]