I’ve Found My Calling (I’m pretty well positive this time)

You know those folks who say things like “when it’s what you’re meant to do with your life, you’ll just know… when it’s you’re real dream, there’ll be no giving up… nothing will be able to stop you…you’ll know when you find it… trust me, you’ll know..”

I mean, I guess I don’t know who the people are who say those things. No one has ever said anything remotely that encouraging to me specifically I don’t think but I do have rumblings of that around in my head so that tells me that there *are* people who *do* say those things. (Or the inside of my head is very uplifting.)

The point is, those people are right. They’re so right! Because I have done a dozen ‘thought that was my dream but it wasn’t’ things with my life and they are really easy to get distracted from. And bored by. And to forget about. And give up on. And shrug about. Some of those were really cool, too. Some of them cost a bunch of money. Some would have made a buch of money.

Eh.

But this thing? This college thing? This spend the next 7-10 years of my life in school so that I can become a psychiatric nurse practioner thing? Cannot. Let. It. Go. I won’t give it up. Nothing will stop me. Nothing is getting in my way.

I know this because there have been a few rather sizable hurdles, hurdles that would normally make me shrug and think, at the very least, “well, at least I’ve got a way out so I can save face.” But I just keep going.

I made that sound too easy. What actually happens is I freeze up, freak out, have an anxiety attack make my best friend, my sister, and my private tribe stay up too late to talk me through it, then I stay up even later to think my way through it and google all the things (because who is sleeping through that much anxiety anyway), and THEN I find a way around or over the hurdle and keep going.

Point being, I’m still going. And I’m so freaking excited.

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