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destiny

Chasing Life

I don’t want to chase my destiny. I don’t want to spend my life following a (or every) prophetic word. It’s not that I’m unwilling or disinterested, it’s just that, well, it’s my destiny, right? I imagine just living life is what’s going to get me there. Chasing destiny burnt me out. Living life brings me peace.

angry scrawl

Screaming in the shower

It’s been a long time since I screamed in the shower. It is an empty and helpless feeling. There is no solace to be found in beating angry fists against soapy walls. It’s not like the release of roaring into the heavens, with the kiss of nature all around and God so evidently listening. It […]

pointing-finger

You’re welcome.

you can’t have found my secrets, i try not to keep any, but if discovering my truths has brought you this burst of righteousness, and if that sense of self is something you enjoy, then i congratulate you on it. i’m past the point of finding my self inside of your judgments. these days i’d […]

dandelion_wishes

wishes

i wish i was not drawn to such sticky webs poisonous dew catching the light of dawn translucent i wish i was not fleeting fickle at it’s finest trailing a wake of those who thought they knew i wish i was not impetuous doing then thinking remembering only after the me i think i am […]

hosea-gomer

Gomer

Where is my hope?
What, now, is my promise?
Is there a reason for tears when no one who will see will understand?

Hope and promise for a fleeting pleasure, barely more than a bowl of stew to the hungry.

flirt

so you say

So you say you want honest
all creamy and velvety with its heart on it’s sleeve;
yeah sure, that’s what they all want
until she isn’t who you thought
with stories that eye open and even intimidate.

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Searching for God

I’m not having a crisis of faith, I’m having a crisis of relationship. I am absolutely convinced that there is more to life with God than what I can do for Him and what I can give up for Him. There must be more than this endless cycle of guilt for not being able to do enough, and guilt for not being able to live well enough.

screwtape letters

Screwtape’s Influence

With just enough truth, any line of thought can begin to confuse, until, eventually, I become aware that there’s a war in my mind and begin to participate. Except, what now is truth and what is born of revelation, and what has been planted and growing without my permission? Which line of thought is it, then, that I am arguing?

cake2

Life Outside The Box (let there be cake!)

It’s relatively easy to be a Christian and to walk roads soundly investigated, approved and maintained by the traditional church. It isn’t difficult to live life uncompromised on Sunday morning or at a gathering of like minded friends and family. It isn’t hard to stand your ground when no one is challenging you, or tempting you.

stairs

Just confess…and ask for help.

It’s true, I haven’t been doing a very good job at this Christian thing lately. I haven’t really done anything wrong, not those things that make devout people shudder and swoon anyway, I just haven’t really done anything. Between action and apathy, I’d say apathy is the greater danger.