Seasonal Depression in Vermont

Here’s a talk myself down from the ledge moment…

“If the sun doesn’t come back to Vermont soon I’m just going to give up the fight and head to bed permanently. I cannot stand it anymore. Breathing is beginning to take effort. I need to hibernate.

Of course, what I really need is to get out more. That’s what everyone says anyway. Apparently it makes people who live in these dramatic seasons feel better if they stay active… or so everyone keeps telling me. But seriously…what do they all go do? Look at where I live. What am I going to go and do here? Wander around a grocery store? Freeze at the park and pretend it’s awesome?

I guess playdates maybe? Lots of playdates.

Oh my god, the thought of having a playdate right now makes me unable to breathe. I cannot breathe. Where is my rescue remedy? Oh my god.

Okay, calm down… you are not actually having a play date, you are just thinking about one. Calm down. Okay then. Right.

Those people who do all the things probably don’t have anxiety disorders. I cannot deal with pretending to be okay around people right now. Accept that that is okay. Okay. It’s okay.

There are story hours. My poor kids. Look at them. I’m totally zoning out over this laundry completely ignoring them. I’ve been hibernating forever. I’m turning into a terrible mom. I need to get myself together. We need to go to a story hour. I haven’t even taken a shower.

Okay. Really look at them, though. They’re reading books contentedly. An hour ago you fed them scrambled eggs and cheese quesadillas. Tell yourself the truth. You do not owe them entertainment in this moment. Breathe.

You went on a family trip two days ago. Everyone had a blast. You’re folding the laundry. It’s 8:30 in the morning.And you’re having a small anxiety attack

Breathe.

And tell yourself the truth.

There you go.

Everything is okay.

Whew.

That’s better.”

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