Seana Speaks

Sure of What You Know

Today I feel as if I am taking my first good, deep breath in nearly two weeks. I’ve been reading a book (Why Am I Still Depressed by Jim Phelps) about Bipolar ii Disorder and learned that, if you pay careful attention, you can tell when your mood is about to shift. The author says […]

Emotional Onslaught

My mood is all consuming these days. Every distraction from it is fleeting at best. I agonize over the cause and effect. Exhausting. It’s exhausting. An excerpt, for your amusement: Am I having a bipolar induced depression? Am I even bipolar? If I was bipolar wouldn’t the Zoloft I’m taking for PPD trigger mania? Mania […]

What Not To Say

You know what I hate being asked? “Why is your anxiety so bad today?”, or “What’s causing your anxiety?”, or “Why is today so hard?” If I knew the answers to any of those questions I’d probably be a lot better off than having to tell someone, “I’m sorry, my anxiety is really bad today.” […]

Mama’s Crazy

I want to be the mom that encourages her kids to flavor cereal with honey, that has kids who’ve been raised to prefer books over television, that has a cupboard full of herbs and tinctures and the know-how to use them. I don’t want to be a crazy mom. I sometimes feel very confident that […]

Suicide

I wrote this blog post on December 23 but thought it best not to post it until after the holiday had come and gone.   19 years ago today I tried to kill myself. It was the only time I would do so, unless you count a decade of drug and alcohol abuse. It wouldn’t […]

Hey! Your girlfriend is annoying.

I hate relationship me. Uncomfortable, awkward. needy, whining brat. Where does she come from? Does she go back there? Because I gotta tell you, I’m in love with this man, but his girlfriend is driving me nuts. My therapist says…oh yes, I have one now, I highly recommend it. Anyway, my therapist says that I’m […]

Diagnosis

I’m staring at a blank screen and thinking, I’m supposed to be sharing how I feel. And then I realize, I don’t have any idea how I feel. I don’t know anything about myself. I suddenly have no idea who I am, which parts of me are real, or what will remain of me. It’s […]