the look of success

I’m not going to do anything stupid.
Today.

It’s only that…

the beast that lives within seems to have awoken with voracious appetite
i want to devour all things deadly and destructive
to sicken myself to the point of normalcy
restless and impatient and rebelliously creative
i want to find the line just to cross it

I want to admit…

the payout is to great for the product
and i don’t want to eat another salad
i don’t want to redefine, re-identify, re-emerge
i’d like for this vacation to end
i’m bored without respite

I’ve met this mood before…

it’s marked every great fuck, fight and party i’ve had
and it’s hard to slow down without chemical aid

I will cling to truth…

however begrudgingly because it is all that saves
and if i’ve proven anything it’s that i know nothing

Today.
I haven’t done anything stupid.

Today…has been a Success.

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