Waking Moment

Mabel wanted to take a nap an hour after we got up. I didn’t want to nap. I wanted to drink my hot vanilla coffee and get started in the garden before the storms hit this afternoon. Mabel is very convincing, so up to the dark and air conditioned bedroom we went. We laid down to nurse but she wasn’t falling asleep, which was irritating considering how far away my vanilla coffee was. We bounced and walked but it didn’t work, and my thoughts kept roaming to the garden. Finally, we lay down again, under a comforter thanks to the ac, and she pressed her baby buddha body against my curves in a way that demanded my attention. I focused my eyes on her and my thoughts turned to how her posture seemed to say that she sometimes wished we could still occupy the same exact space the way we did before she was born. I hummed her favorite song and snuggled her as tight as I could. I forgot about the coffee and the garden and focused on matching my breath to hers. She fell asleep. Neither of us moved. When she woke up her eyes opened to mine and she smiled, leaned forward, and planted a drooly kiss right on my lips. The coffee was just as good cold and the garden didn’t grow legs and run away. That hour and a half in bed cost me nothing but earned me the sweetest waking moment with my baby.

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