You Bring Restoration (whomever you are and whatever that is)

You bring restoration…

I’m singing the words in the shower but I have no idea who I’m singing them to.

You bring restoration…

I barely even know what the words I’m singing mean anymore.

You bring restoration… to my soul.

I am always, always, either fully confident in… or fully afraid of… the state of my soul.

I don’t know where these words are going but I sing them because they lighten me. I sing them because I believe in something they say and because they give me hope. I concede that the hope might be a learned trait, many years in the making, but it feels good even if it is confused.

You’ve taken my pain, and you’ve called me by a new name…

Pain I’ve got aplenty.

You’ve taken my shame, and in its place you give me joy…

Shame outweighs pain 2 to 1.

You take my mourning and turn it into dancing,
You take my weeping and turn it into laughing,
You take my mourning and turn it into dancing,
You take my sorrow and turn it into joy..

Who? Who is doing these things? Where? If I keep singing these words will these things keep happening to me?

The not being able to find the joy leads the way back to shame. Sometimes I feel too lazy, mentally and emotionally and physically, to be well.

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