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sobriety – Seana Speaks
Seana Speaks

To The Person Newly In Recovery

You are not your enemy. Addiction is your enemy. Your silence does not protect your dignity, it promotes the stigma of your disease. The disease lives in you but it does not define you. You define you.

I Believe In “Never Again”

It can be overwhelming to look into the face of addiction and vow “never again.” I remember when I left Dallas headed for rehab in New York. My intention was that I would be gone from the city and people that I loved for the minimum required stay of 6 months and then I would […]

I want to drink. (I do not drink).

People congratulate me when they see me out with a kombucha or other non-alcoholic drink in hand. “Still not drinking, huh?” No matter who it is that’s asking, they always sound a bit surprised and mildly impressed. While at first it was tiring, I understand now that they do not sound surprised because they expected […]

Lessons I Keep Relearning

There are a few lessons I keep learning again and again. No matter how many times I argue myself out of the following truths, they don’t become any less true. I may as well just stop trying. It’s time to face the facts. 1. Procrastination is not worth it. The truth is, I really do relax […]

Face Yourself (part one…)

Today’s post is written by a very special guest blogger, who can be seen in the photogaph.  She turns 19 in December, and she’s been clean for 8 days.  8 short days if you’re on the outside looking in, 8 very long days if you’re on the one fighting for your sobriety by the hour.  Today’s […]

Lead Me Not Into Temptation

Most of the time when I start writing, I begin with a pretty clear idea of what I want to write about, what it is that I’m trying to say. What ends up as the final product, however, is rarely what I intended. Very often I unearth things about myself, about my thoughts and my […]

What Do We Call This

The older I get, the more in control I like to be. Suddenly things like “planning ahead” and “knowing what to expect” are important to me, and to my sense of well-being. This strikes me as odd. I thought that responsibility came with family and possessions and, since I have neither, I would somehow get […]

Kicking and Screaming Sobriety

Kicking and screaming sobriety, that’s what this is. I normally end relationships that are this difficult. If I have to work this hard to make you stay, we’re probably better off going in our separate directions, know what I mean? I wrestle with my personality when I’m sober. I have expectations of myself that are […]

Me & the Mrs.

If there has ever truly been a time when there was a tug of war between my self-control and my desire to be completely obliterated it is now. I cannot remember another point when my emotions and my desire to drink were so completely connected before, and I was so aware of it. I can […]

addiction felt organic

Addiction felt organic. Like I went back in time, to when people worried about the basic needs: food, shelter and warmth. Addiction feels like that, like modern society’s only solution to returning to that level of simplicity, except the basic needs change – to money and drugs.